Political quote

In politics stupidity is not a handicap.

Napoleon

life quotes

Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook and a good digestion.

Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Funny quote

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.

Will Rogers

Simpsons toons

Oh, they have the Internet on computers now.

Homer Simpson

Political Quotes

Clearly, God is a Democrat.

Patrick Caddell

Margaret Thatcher Quotes

Europe was created by history. America was created by philosophy.

Margaret Thatcher

Funny Phrases

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

Mark Twain

Funny political quotes

Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of congress. But I repeat myself.

Mark Twain

Painting Phrases

Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire? The one nearest the door of course.

George Bernard Shaw

Funny stocks Quotes

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.


Mark Twain

Funny love phrases

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.


Woody Allen

Political Sayings

If my critics saw me walking over the Thames they would say it was because I couldn't swim.


Margaret Thatcher

Actor Phrases

If I ever caught myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass!


Adam Sandler

funny quotes on life

As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around.

Oprah Winfrey

Albert Einstein

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.


Albert Einstein

Birthday sayings

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Sayings Disney

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

Sayings Walt Disney (1901-1966)

Groucho Marx funny quotes and sayings

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough.

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.

Groucho Marx

funny sayings

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Dave Barry

Cute Phrases

In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows

Woody Allen